Welp. I haven't blogged since the beginning of this year. It's funny, a self reflection blog I wrote back in January, ready to make changes in my life and conquer, then COVID hits right near the end of February. What timing huh? Did I feel I was able to get through things? I wouldn't say the least. So much has happened in these couple of months.

I'll be ranting and just talking about my life update, so if this doesn't interest you, I don't mind if you stop reading and skip this article. This is just another one of my life rants.

March - April:

• Slowed down in productivity progress on personal projects
• Joined and collaborated in a few game jams
• Constant job rejections, no interviews
• Animal Crossing

May:

• Even slower progress on productivity
• Playing games
• Stopped applying jobs

End of May - June:

• George Floyd happened
• Developed and deployed a web app out of anger & remorse for the Black Lives Matter movement
• Submit more job applications, more rejections, no interviews

July:

• Participate game jams
• Work on game projects
• Finally got an interview for a technical sound designer position, submitted the take home technical audio test

August:

• Waiting for results for the technical sound designer position, sent follow-up emails...no response.
• Work on personal projects
• Submit more job applications, more rejections, no interviews

September:

• Participate in another game jam
• Work on personal projects
• Play games

Now it's October, what am I doing now?:

• I'm participating in yet another game jam, but this time it's a solo game project
• Picked up pixel art drawing, for the game project, but also because I've been wanting to draw too
• Starting FreeCodeCamp's Data Structures & Algorithms Course, because I'm feeling really rusty in those topics, especially since I haven't been practicing coding problems either.
• Started Twitch Streaming
• Submitting some job applications, rejections as usual

I wish I can share a success story about myself, but no, a year of finishing a coding bootcamp & COVID happening, it feels even harder to find a job.

My title also mentions my burnout. Well, I'm tired. I'm tired of applying for jobs and just getting rejected. I'm tired of questioning my self-worth because of these rejections, to not even be able to talk to a human being. I would rather get rejected at the interview stage, that way I know I talked to a human and got feedback, but no, just a robot email echoing to me:

Unfortunately, "Insert Company Name" has moved to the next step in their hiring process, and your application was not selected at this time.

I just want to create stuff. But I'd like to also be able to be financially be stable to create stuff for people.